How can you tell this man is lying?

"President Clinton's Testimony"

as transcribed by Dr. Seuss

 >I did not do it in a car

>I did not do it in a bar

>I did not do it in the dark

>I did not do it in the park

>I did not do it on a date

>I did not ever fornicate

>I did not do it at a dance

>I did not do it in her pants

>I did not get beyond first base

>I did not do it in her face

>I never did it in a bed

>If you think that, you've been misled

>I did not do it with a groan

>I did not do it on the phone

>I did not cause her dress to stain

>I never boinked Saddam Hussein

>I did not do it with a whip

>I never fondled Linda Tripp

>I never acted really silly

>With volunteers like Kathleen Willey

>There was one time, with Margaret Thatcher

>I chased her 'round, but could not catch her

>No kinky stuff, not on your life

>I wouldn't, even with my wife

>And Gennifer Flowers' tale of woes

>Was paid for by my right-wing foes

>And Paula Jones, and those State Troopers

>Are just a bunch of party poopers

>I did not ask my friends to lie

>I did not hang them out to dry

>I did not do it last November

>But if I did, I don't remember

>I did not do it in the hall

>I could have, but I don't recall

>I never did it in my study

>I never did it with my dog, Buddy

>I never did it to Sox, the cat

>I might have-once-with Arafat

>I never did it in a hurry

>I never groped Ms. Betty Currie

>There was no sex at Arlington

>There was no sex on Air Force One

>I might have copped a little feel

>And then endeavored to conceal

>But never did these things so lewd

>At least, not ever in the nude

>These things to which I have confessed

>They do not count, if we stayed dressed

>It never happened with a cigar

>I never dated Mrs. Starr

>I did not know this little sin

>Would be retold on CNN

>I broke some rules my Mama taught me

>I tried to hide, but now you've caught me

>But I implore, I do beseech

>Do not condemn, do not impeach

>I might have got a little tail

>But never, never did inhale.

**THE END**